Ladies and Gentleman, Miss Elaine Page...

Doctor Who: Musical Interlude #6

Their are vast swathes of fandom who disagree with one another on the precise point at which the death knell sounded for Doctor Who. For some it was the first time Colin Baker was cast. For others, the decision to put it up against Coronation Street was the start of the downturn. Some point at the second time Colin Baker was cast. And there are those who thought that leaving the whole junk yard scene was a really bad idea in the first place. But for me, for today at least, it was this...

Blind Jackson Stiff and his Quadriplegic Flügelhorners.

The moment, in the messy mash-up that is Silver Nemesis, the camera pulled away from a gaping void of blackness to reveal... a jazz trumpeter. Not just any jazz trumpeter, no. Courtney Pine. Now in no way is this a reflection on Mr Pine's jazz stylings. But just what on Telos possessed the production team to think that, "Hey! Courtney Pine. He'll appeal to our target demographic." Even if the Doctor does start to exhibit a hitherto unknown love of jazz, why chose that particular act to see? He could have gone for Blind Jackson Stiff and his Quadriplegic Flügelhorners. Or The Fats Bacharach Continuum, with Cletus Windpipe Snr III on Venezuelan Jerk Stick. Or even the apocalyptic '57 performance of the Johnson Sage All-Stars with Limpet on skins. Nice.

The Fats Bacharach Continuum, with Cletus Windpipe Snr III on Venezuelan Jerk Stick.

I suppose, to be charitable, there could be a deleted scene in which the Doctor attempted to get them to see Bix Beiderbecke or Louis Armstrong live on stage but I doubt it. So, just who did they think they were aiming this at? Who did they think was in the audience...

Little posh boys who's parents had Mantovani piped into the womb using some nanoscale Bang and Olufsen in vitro surround sound system. That's who. As a teenager in the 80's I no more had a desire to listen to jazz than a turkey has of approaching the festive season with gay abandon. This was the sort of thing my dad would listen too. Does that mean that the Doctor now isn't this mischievous mystical being who, deep down, is really just a big kid but is now a 40-year-old with a mortgage who hangs around diy stores and trims rampant nose hair? Will that mean that future adventures with the Doctor will have all the fun and appeal of going to Jewson's for some rawlplugs? If so you can count me out.

Johnson Sage All-Stars with Limpet on skins.

The only rational explanation for this inexplicable inclusion was the production team had caught wind of what The Young Ones did in the early '80s to increase their meagre budget. By including a musical guest the comedy show was considered a variety programme by the BBC and so was awarded a larger production budget. Unfortunately, in Doctor Who's case, there were those at the BBC who had already considered it an entirely different type of programme...