Isn't it Crowded in Here?

Welcome to all the newcomers - I certainly need a jolt of enthusiasm.

Doctor Who:  The Sontaran Stratagem

To paraphrase Swift, I can take or leave Sontarans, although I heartily love Linx, Styre, Staal, and so forth.  It's an unfortunate thing as they are a cloned race of millions, but the more Sontarans enter the equation, the more I start drifting and thinking improbable thoughts such as whether I'll be retired before Blake's 7 appears on Sky One. Take Staal.  Christopher Ryan did a really nice job of establishing his character, particularly in the otherwise overlong scene when he confronted the UNIT soldiers in the cloning area.  The "soldier to soldier" nature of the conversation, especially his almost courteous explanation of why he had paralysed them, was very much in keeping with the Sontarans of the past, but stick him in a spaceship with a load of his mates and he's lost in the middle of a space haka.  But it was good to see them back, even if it does make you wonder how interesting The Sontaran Stratagem would be if it had involved a new monster.

I suppose it's hard to knock the formula in a formulaic drama, but another suspicious organisation run by aliens?  ATMOS have done the old Cybus trick of dominating the marketplace for a product that no-one can live without, only this time it's done under the pretence of helping the environment.  I can't help thinking kids are going to be terribly confused by the message sent out by this story.  Everytime mummy or daddy mention recycling, or use diesel instead of petrol, the kids are going to be convinced an alien invasion is on the cards.  I mean look what happened when they saw John Paul in The Rise of the Cybermen - 0.5% of kids never used a bluetooth earpiece again.   When the story is as formulaic as this I find it almost impossible to give much of a shit about following it, but that's not to say there weren't moments of interest.

Maybe he finally got around to reading Paul Cornell's article about the authoritarian nature of his third incarnation

Why has the Doctor developed such a dislike of UNIT nowadays?  Is he just embarrassed about his past?  He huffed and puffed about not liking people who carry guns, but I remember a time when he'd laugh alongside UNIT soldiers while gunning down an Ogron with barely a pause before his next mouthful of Stilton.  Maybe he finally got around to reading Paul Cornell's article about the authoritarian nature of his third incarnation, and thought that he should change his ways.  Or perhaps he's just missing the Brigadier - unlike Russell T Davies.  I found Donna's concern about UNIT much more convincing, and she actually tore the allegorical references away and just came out and mentioned Guantanamo Bay.  Any concerns I had about Catherine Tate have evaporated over the last two episodes, and she was again one of the better things about this episode, particularly when puncturing the Doctor's high opinion of himself.  Mind you, I couldn't quite understand why Donna's trip home really needed flashbacks and Murray up to eleven.  She's only been in four episodes, and that's the second big emotional scene with Bernard Cribbins in four weeks.  When it gets really emotional in the final episode there'll be nowhere left to go.

"Oh Christ - there's another one!"

Poor old Martha looked very washed out in comparison.  After having her Torchwood guest star-spot overshadowed by a walking corpse, she'd obviously decided that imitation was her best chance.  She wasn't helped by horseshit lines such as "He's like fire.  Stand too close and people get burned" but everything about her looked tired, and even in the cloning scene her performance was lack-lustre compared to the similar strapped-to-a-table moment in Reset.  In fact, the appearance of the second Martha reminded me of when Mike and Bernie Winters played the Glasgow Empire.  Mike appeared nervously from behind the curtain and was welcomed by a wave of hostility.  Then Bernie appeared.  "Oh Christ!" came a yell from the audience "there's another one".  That was pretty much my reaction to Martha Two.  But at least she has a probic vent.

Anthony Newly singing The Laughing Gnome on horse tranquilisers

Freema may be a bit sickly, but she is of this earth, whereas Tennant seems to get weirder by the episode.  At times during the scene at the Rattigan Academy he was great, but he's so wayward that he'll randomly say lines like "You should face bullets with dignity" in a voice that sounds like Anthony Newly singing The Laughing Gnome on horse tranquilisers.  In fact, he shows all the signs of an actor who's trying to keep himself interested in the proceedings.  Parallels with the antics of Tom Baker at the equivalent point in his tenure probably wouldn't repay examination, but listen to the way Tennant's started pronouncing "Well".  He'll soon be getting tanked up at the Coach and Horses and marrying Catherine Tate before you can say Symphony.  And "intruder" window?  Do me a favour!

The Sontaran Stratagem was not quite boring, but never made it as far as interesting.  The snooker this evening was more entertaining, but lacked a decent in-joke about UNIT dating, so it's still too soon to abandon Doctor Who entirely.  But if Ronnie O'Sullivan ever reads Lance Parkin's AHistory then it could be the end of a beautiful friendship.